Everyone knows that women used to stay in the home cooking and cleaning while the men went out to do the heavy lifting.
Actually, contrary to popular belief, this is not the way it used to be.
Families worked side by side, children with parents.
Wives, far less then many think, were locked in kitchens confined to a life of solitude while men went off to work.
Families had to work together to grow food and get everyday work done so the family could function. Much of their days were spent together.
This idea of working beside family members, is seen as not having a place in our modern lives.
It an article written to explain the decrease in family farming, the article points out unforeseen consequences from the new phenomenon.
In this technologically advanced world, most are unaware that a prosperous society does not hinge on acquiring gadgets, vehicles or other luxury items. Rather, a significant indicator of a healthy society is the stability of the family unit. As small farms vanish from the countryside, with them disappears one of the best environments capable of producing strong, character-driven families. This—building strong character—is the most tragic loss as family farming dies out (The Disappearing, n.d.).
My family was built on work. My Grandpa, who farmed, always said to me that two of the greatest blessings in life is to work and to learn.
He did also say to me that we should eat dessert today because who knows if we live until tomorrow to eat it.
What can I say though, my grandpa is a man of many philosophies, but I think what he said really rings true. Truly learning to work is one of our greatest opportunities in life.
I have seen the evidence in my own family.
I am the fifth of six children in my family, there being one boy and five girls. My mom worked at the beginning of my parent’s marriage, but after having their second child, she decided to be a stay at home mom.
When I was a baby, my parents decided to start doing a paper route. By the time I was three, I started helping my family with the paper route by rubber banding the newspapers.
Some of my worst and best memories come from doing that paper route.
Having the paper route taught my siblings and me to work hard, but more importantly, to work together.
I had the chance to work with my parents, who demanded that we do our job well and right. Meaning, we always made sure the papers were in their boxes or right in front of the doors.
My family become known for our excellent service, so much so, that the people on our route would tip us during Christmas.
The paper route also taught us to rely on each other to get the job done, which sometimes caused contention. Most of the time though, it allowed us to work and trust each other enough to accomplish our task.
My siblings and I are good friends to this day, I think, in large part because we worked together.
Reflecting on these events in my life, I wondered how my parents knew work would be so important.
My dad said it all went back to the time he spent working with his beloved grandma.
At one point in his life they lived right next to his grandparents, each day he would collect eggs or the newspaper for them. There were even times when he would pick black berries with his grandmother; he loved just being in her presence.
There was a feeling of warmth and love he would feel when with her.
From her and other opportunities he had to work, he learned, working together was part of being a family. It helped to cultivate love and trust.
This is something he has carried into his own family.
In the first house parents lived in when they were marriage, the only way to heat the house was using a wood stove.
That meant that wood needed to be brought in to start the fire each day. My dad would split the wood, then my oldest sister and brother would carry the wood in the house. They were only about 4 and 3 years old, but they loved helping my dad.
Even if all they could only carry in a small piece, they would do what they could. They cultivated those same feelings of love and trust through working side by side with my dad.
At the time my dad was work long hours, he could have simply done it all himself.
It certainly would have taken less time for him to do so, but my dad understood something that most of us tend to forget.
At least when it comes to working beside your kids, it is not about the product, but the process.
It is true that we have many modern conveniences that can perform tasks for us, but we miss the process when we do that.
Efforts to work along side family members can be simple.
Here are some suggestions:
Do the dished by hand instead of using the dishwasher, it gives you time to talk.
Choose and plant flowers together for your yard
Start a garden and care for it together
Paint a fence together
These are just a few simple suggestions, but the point is that they facilitate time together.
If we can learn to work in our families, we can do just about anything as a family.
Sources
The Disappearing Family Farm. (n.d.). Retrieved November 23, 2017, from https://rcg.org/realtruth/articles/100607-006-family.html